


ask me again; tell me it’ll be okay

by doctorsimmonswilson



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Marriage, Songfic, jolex, songfic: the last time by taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26089345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorsimmonswilson/pseuds/doctorsimmonswilson
Summary: Jo wonders if Alex Karev is it; the one.
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9
Collections: jolex x taylor swift week





	ask me again; tell me it’ll be okay

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH we are finally here!! happy taylor swift x jolex week!!
> 
> please enjoy this happy ending for day 1!

_find myself at your door, just  
like all those times before._

Jo feels like crap. She shouldn’t have pushed Alex towards his dad so hard. All she did was hurt him, and it made him angry with her. She couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid. It seems like Paul was right after all, she causes pain; her good intentions will always fail.

She must look ridiculous, showing up to his house in her Tinkerbell costume. But it’s Halloween, and she’s never celebrated Halloween before.

The, “I’m sorry,” falls off her lips so easily. She feels herself sorriest for hurting him for selfish reasons; as if her daydreams would change how his abusive dad made him feel. 

“Get in before the trick-or-treaters think I’m home.” God, he doesn’t know how safe he makes her feel. Jo Wilson and Alex Karev just fit. She was beginning to learn this as a fact. Like peanut butter and jelly, and the perfect pair of jeans. He softens her edges.

_and right before your  
eyes, I’m breaking._

“Jo, please talk to me,” Alex begs. Jo hears him, but his words become a dull buzz underneath the booming voice in her head chanting, you cause pain, you are not worth his patience, you deserve to feel this way. 

Alex sighs, laying beside her. He leans over her, kisses her forehead, and rolls over on his back. Jo reaches up to flick off the lamp. She missed Alex’s worried look at her as she drifts into a fitful slumber.

this is the last time I’m asking you this:  
put my name at the top of your list

“She’s your priority!” Jo finally let it off her chest. She doesn’t care that Alex and Meredith are good friends- the kind of friends who hang out as often as teenagers, drink like college buddies, and share secrets like siblings. 

It’s the disrespect Alex shows to her in the process that kills her. It’s like Meredith’s husband died, and all of a sudden Jo doesn’t exist. Jo loves being with a caring, empathetic man. She hates that he’s so single-minded and she’s never first on his list of people to check on. 

Sometimes she wonders if she’d have to get into some kind of terrible accident for Alex to notice(then she thinks that she’d rather not think that). And when Meredith is attacked by a patient, Jo comes way too close to telling Alex about Paul. 

But then she’d be the jealous girlfriend, wouldn’t she? Too enamored with her own self to have an ounce of sympathy for Meredith? And Alex’s stupid friends would dislike her even more.

If only they knew just how much she felt Meredith’s pain. Over and over and over again.

_You wear your best apology  
But I was there to watch you leave  
And all the times I let you in  
Just for you to go again _

Either Jo is a masochist, or Alex needs to start considering Jo’s feelings. He needs to stop disregarding her very valid feelings.

“She was my wife!”

“That’s what I’m asking. Am I the ‘let’s get a dog girl’?” 

She hates the way it sounds. And she knows she can't marry him. But she wants to. She wants to say screw Paul and screw everyone else. Jo wants to stand up in front of the world and say ‘I do’ to Alex Karev.

But he is frustratingly misunderstanding. And she is so terribly afraid. She knows he could never commit to her; she is too little for him. She wonders if she’ll ever be enough.

He walks out this time. Screaming, ignoring her. She should’ve expected it.

_This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong.  
This is the last time I say it's been you all along. _

It hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since Alex and Jo had said ‘I do’ and ‘I super do’, respectively, and Jo can safely say she knows what being in a happy marriage is like.

They arrive at the hotel for their honeymoon, and Alex is perfect. He lets her have the bigger slice of leftover cake, walks her down the beach at sunset, and holds her close. 

Years ago, Jo never would’ve imagined this for herself. She’s always wanted to marry Alex. But she could never escape Paul, her own insecurities, his uncertainties, their combined fear of abandonment. But here she is, in this perfect bubble with him. 

She can’t imagine not having done it.


End file.
